This is me...

Okay, my first day of classes is complete and officially added on to that wonderfully indelible list of "firsts" I spoke to my last professor de jour Dr. Amy Jacober who is this tiny red-headed box of skittles...just soooo fun and eccentric like a good youth ministry worker should be. Anyways, she is the key professor for my concentration for Youth & Student Ministry...my degree is technically MDiv YSM. Like any of you care :)...The class I am taking her for as of now is Theology and Philosophy of Youth ministry. Typical first week for any level of schooling...review the syllabus and manage the formalities. I sat in this last class, the first of many to infuse and shape my own philosophy of Youth Ministry, and I half listen and half internally hyperventilate. I realized for the first time; I mean truly pondered this crucial fact...This is who I am and this is what I do. Seriously, that thought recycled thru my head a million times in 1 hour...I mean, no more biology, micro, organic chemistry, hair loss over the MCAT, dread of residency but a brand new laundry list. I cannot articulate how in God's will and out of the fish bowl I feel. This roller coaster of emotional duality is a bit too loopy and I think I need a brown paper bag.

Be still & know

I often refer to God...Jesus...what have you...as logic's rubix cube and the more I do the more He is just that. it makes no sense to quit a job a month before you go to grad school with virtually no savings and sign a lease for an apartment that you have yet to see. I certainly wouldn't advise it. However, these are the stops on this thrilling faith-walk-o-mine. Let me tell you I have been through it this week, THAAARUUUU IT! I have felt the exhilaration of independence and gasp of loneliness all at the same time. I know that God will Provide and there is NO LaCk but I can't help but think about the many bills that are due on the first and not little bills but behemoth ones. So what's a chick to do??? Go to that Word, that's what. Not as easy as you think. Sometimes, as much as I love and trust the Lord and I DO, I don't feel like chatting with him especially when I stand in need and I can't see the resources around me. How conditional we can be at times when he is Siempre Fidelis....siempre!

Early Friday morning I paid my car note and began to hyperventilate. I open my Word to Isaiah desperately looking for a familiar Word and here is what the Lord gave me. He is so awesome!

"Cease striving and know that I am God"~Psalm 46:10

...then He led me to ...

"Remember this, and be assured;
Recall it to mind, you transgressors.
9"Remember the former things long past,
For I am God, and there is no other;
I am God, and there is no one like Me,
10Declaring the end from the beginning,
And from ancient times things which have not been done,
Saying, 'My purpose will be established,
And I will accomplish all My good pleasure';
11Calling a bird of prey from the east,
The man of My purpose from a far country
Truly I have spoken; truly I will bring it to pass.
I have planned it, surely I will do it." ~Isaiah 46 8:-11

Verse 11 was written for me! I just broke down and cried... I mean snot and blinding tears, the works. This is God's plan, not mine and He has called me so He won't fail me. That simple. Still have moments of anxiety...wishing I didn't but I know God will provide. He has to for He cannot lie.
Be Encouraged...Be Still

Oh the places we'll go! Cont'd...

Along with open-air evangelism our group was also involved in community outreach which was challenging at best but so fun and so worth every ounce of time we spent helping the youngest to the oldest.
The D.R.C. or Democractic Republic of the Congo refugees live in various parts of South Africa and come near and far to Bellville Baptist Church to learn English so that they can thrive in their new country...Problem...Xenophobia: /ˌzɛnəˈfoʊbiə, ˌzinə/an unreasonable fear or hatred of foreigners or strangers or of that which is foreign or strange. Black South Africans who are already jobless and destitute fear this reality will quickly beome their endless fate if refugees come and get their jobs so they retaliate. One way that we were informed of was dragging the refugees out of their homes in their camps and beating them, filling a tire with gasoline and lighting it on fire around their necks....nonetheless these people exhibit great courage and FAITH (for-real FAITH). Most of the refugees (French speaking) are learned and lawyers, scientists, engineers and the like by trade and we sat with them teaching basic English reading, writing and math skills...talk about humbling. We spent only a few hours with them and wanted desparately to stay. 2 of the STINT (year-long) missionaries from IMPACT head this project for over 30 refugees who are all on different learning levels. That day their were 15 of us and still not enough. It's frustrating to even reflect on...

Esther..she was a lawyer back at home

blOg hOdge pOdge

Mo~I am moving to Waco, TX this week to begin my Master's Studies in Divinity at George W. Truett Theological Seminary at Baylor University...yes, I know I am pretty awesome!~actually God's completely awesome! I have looked at some of my class schedules and this program is nothing to take lightly...can we say "reading is fundamental" cuz it is. Oh my sweet Jesus help me!

Murphy~there's this guy named Murphy and he lives by these impossible statues. Thursday was supposed to be a day of completion for my week. I took my car in to get freon and alignment and came out with a list of repairs for over $1,000 which clearly won't get fixed anytime soon. Can we say tuition & rent & insurance & books & travel??? Then when I tried to leave the auto shop my battery had died...Now, this is fine except for the fact that whenever I leave the auto shop for the past 4 times...for something minor like an oil change...something very expensive goes wrong...coincidence? I lost out on getting a free king-size bed...bummer. I owe alot more than my bank acct will allow me to pay...what's new? Good thing I dwell in God's graces and not Murphy's law.

Mi Madre~mom's inagural event for her Oasis of Prayer Ministry was held Saturday night at UofH and it was incredible...so much work went into this especially during the last days and God still blew everyone's mind with all that He showed us about His presence. I am so proud of my mom and this family.

My Kiddos~I gave my last message at TCWW before I leave (tears & tissue). It was at 9:45 service which is "the"service, you can't mess around when you bring the Word to this crew, and I was terrified and feeling so unprepared. This past week was so trying and I felt so anxious I "fell" this week and therefore felt so unworthy to preach to these youth. I presented them John 3:16 "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only son that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have life everlasting." I wanted them to know the realities of hell that they have been "saved" from and the vast love that Jesus has for them though we all sin all day all life. So when someone asks the million dollar "Christian Question" ~ "Are you saved?" They can bodly shout "OH YES!!!" One young man gave his life to the Lord!

For all the week's frustrations and hiccups that makes it worth it...yeah...definitely worth it.

Call me Crocker cuz I'm spreadin the Word like Butter baby!

Hop in your car in Houston and the further you get away from the city the "nicer" the neighborhoods become...a little less crayola if ya know what I mean. Hop in your car in Cape Town and view the grimiest townships "ghetto" you ever did see; quickly shift your gaze from the left side of the road to the right and you'll see some of the most beautiful habitats ever. Yessir, built right their where blacks used to live in their villages. Their land and identity just snatched from their grip without warning, reason or apology.

Khayelitsha~2nd largest township in S.A.

"Ghetto Hair Salon"

Bible Store

Profylin & Evangelizin'

We spent 3 hrs. conducting "open-air" evangelism. One guy I spoke with said he was Christian but he was also raised as a traditional healer. That was one hinderance...many South Africans consider themselves Christian but still adhere to many ancestral beliefs systems that do not fall in line with God's Word. They also speak very softly as opposed to Americans particularly black Americans. We had to shut-tp and really listen instead of "listening" for an opportunity to force an agenda. Mid way thru our day we were prohibited from further "solicitation" of Jesus...there were wayz around that though.

Don't 4get to look Both Wayz

So I am posting this just because it made me laugh today...Today I went with my family to the launching of Rev. Jacquie Hood-Martin's preaching tour "No Fear" downtown Houston at the Magnolia Ballroom (fantastic venue BTW). It was at 10 this morning. As we stood on the empty street about to go inside a homeless approached my mom and I asking for breakfast money. I instinctively lied and he apologized for "bothering" us and went about his way. I felt like crap. I not only had $7 in my "Coach" bag (insert oooo's & ahhhhh's here) but HELLO! I just got back from a mission trip where I we minstered to the low and dejected for 10 days. I value being non-materialistic and self-sacrificing and there I stand with this ridiculous expensive "bag" and the opportunity to minister and help and I lie...How quickly do we revert back to our old ways?!?

So I start meditating on the scripture that says "They also will answer, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?' He will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.' " Matthew 25:44. I asked God for forgiveness and another opportunity...and also that he would bless that man I rejected with food and shelter.

Well, I went outside to go to the car after the event began privately pleading with God for someone to pass by me that I could bless...I met Carnal Washington who asked for payment if he washed my car. I told him "no" but I would like to treat him to breakfast..."Yes! Thank you Lord!" We chatted about life and God and parted ways.

Please don't misunderstand, I wasn't diggin for a "feel good" moment so I can ring my bell and blow my own whistle. I love Christ and He has been so good to me and I don't want to squander this life by missing an opportunity to glorify Him by loving on someone like he loves on me...

So here's what made me laugh. When I went back out to the car my dad says "Be careful and look out while you are crossing the street" I began to reply, "I just got back from South Africa I can handle downtown." Yet, I digressed and said "O.K. dad". So glad he's looking out for me too.

Nkosi Sikelel iAfrika

Sunday, August 4, 2008 13 enlightened missionaries made their treks back to their respective homes across these United States. As much as I wanted to once again enjoy the "comforts" of home so much of me wanted to stay in Cape Town. Shame. So where in the world do I begin???

There were 15 of us from IMPACT Association~we's folks work for a living & could only get 2 weeks off to go on a mission tip

There were 6 gracious leaders from IMPACT STINT who have dedciated a year to ministry in South Africa.

There were many from the IMPACT movement on U.S. college campuses that dedicated a month of their undergraduate summer to minister in South Africa.

These people are the most incredible people that I have met this summer. They are so honest, so bare, so willing to share Christ's love.

the faces...

Words render no justice to the beauty and warmth of Cape Town

and the people of South Africa.

Listen to the South African National Anthem which we heard a billion times over 2 weeks...absolutley beautiful!