How Long, Oh Lord, Must I be a Caterpillar?...

I sat under a tree to "have a quiet time". I tried to forcefully wax theological without letting my mind wander and was soon sucked into a battle of meditating without trying to meditate. Focus, focus, focus. …What is deep and profound…No stop trying and just be…be what? Quiet?, reflective? Mo?...who is she anyway? As the rabbit hole got deeper I enjoyed brief moments of respite from this war within. The “silence” was broken intermittently with the sizzle summer days resonant. I can never tell what the snap crackle and pop is all about but something is sizzling. I think birds make that noise. What a way to glorify God. I wonder if they sound pretty to themselves. Or maybe it’s not a bird or insect maybe it’s just how heat sounds. Regardless., the wind would blow or puff on by and there I was, time ticking away and no life-altering thought to account for. Crap! I can’t even “do” quiet time well. I hate feeling overwhelming ugly and inadequate. …not necessarily physically unattractive but the kind of hideous that is born from wanton spiritual disobedience…It comes out of your pores, you know and you can actually see it on your skin like some kind of sticky, black residue that does not quite come off in the wash. It can be debilitating. Not a good look at all. Most times no one can see it but you. Like living in a funhouse with broken mirrors.

So my attention is diverted to the dirty ground as I take inventory on my surroundings and make sure that no insects are on that list. I notice a caterpillar. Small, green, hungry, determined, focused… just eating and crawling and stopping and eating…digging and crawling and eating. That’s all it did the 20 minutes I was there. I suppose that’s all it does most days...I wondered if it was even cognizant of my presence. Was this giant hovering over it something to be feared and avoided? Seemed unlikely because it never skipped a beat. Then there was another caterpillar, darker and moving with much more fervor and resolve. It was a bold little booger moving further and further away from the tree. It seemed anxious…and then there was another, also a bit browner and faster. This one liked to dig. I think this caterpillar thought that if it moved faster and ate more it might speed up the process…It was fat and juicy like the caterpillar from the movie “Ants Life”.

I picked up a stick and in 3^rd grade fashion I poked at it. Not to harm it but just to interfere and wonder and I suppose make my presence known. After all, I am the human here... It seemed startled at first. It twisted its agile spaghetti body into a sort of pretzeled 180 degreed turn to make its get away and at another poke it froze. I poked again…I guess it was playing dead; in that moment my satisfaction of dominance was fulfilled and I stopped. I wondered if its little heart was beating extra fast. Do insects even fear death, do they sense it on any level or was this just a guttural survival reaction…fully ingrained and un-abandonable? Anyways, I wonder if the caterpillar is satisfied with being a caterpillar. Does is have any clue of its future? Its impending winged existence? Is it excited and anxious? Does it get mad each day when it wakes up and it’s not time to transform yet only time for more crawling and eating? Are its thoughts so filled with wonder at what it is to become that it never completes the task at hand and just waits? Is it angry at its lack of control? Does it get bored with crawling, digging and eating over and over again day in and day out? Is it perturbed that it can’t just sprout wings overnight and venture out to explore an area larger than a 3ft. perimeter around a tree? Does it ever ask, “How Long O Lord do I have to be a caterpillar?...”. Do caterpillars give up before cocoon time comes thinking that there is no hope?...when maybe that season is right around the corner? How sad it would be to abandon such a beauty simply because it is stuck on ugly…How tragic? Well, I think the caterpillar has an inkling that this is but a season. It may be a simple creature but I bet there is a hint of destiny that pulses through it as it digs, crawls and eats…not forever…just for now.

Who Put Murphy in Charge?

Christians are so kind. We don’t always have answers to feed the hungry and defend the oppressed but let tragedy come and we can spout off scriptures and prayers of providence, hope, trust and repentance like none other. I usually think “there’s helping and there’s hurting and right now you’re not helping”…I am a chaplain. It’s my job. I am a chaplain. It’s my identity and my call. I know the Word (or at least parts 1 and 4) I love the Lord and trust Him completely but sometimes life truly does suck. Verbosity is irrelevant in dire situations. Life can feel crappy and unrelentless. Case in point: I well know a 50 something year old couple with a beautiful son, paid off mortage and 3 cars. Lest you are quick to judge them for living the “American dream”. They serve the Lord and labor in prayer with their community as they seek to serve more and be used by God. They know the fear of the Lord. Here is what the past 2 years vomitted up. Her son decides to depart from the way in which he was raised up. Her sister dies of aggresive breast cancer. The husband looses his job of 20+ years. Shortly after this she is diagnosed with the same breast cancer that plagues the women in her family. Oh yeah, and her son who recently gave his life to God is murdered senselessly leaving behind a young grandson. I know Job. She needs silence. She needs moments of laughter. She needs the freedom to question and doubt and be angry. She deserves that much. Often times in my “pastoral moments” when I am wearing my chaplain hat I struggle with this freedom. When do you mourn with others? How far do you let them go? Especially when you know that they know the Lord. When you mourn….Heck, when you just have a bad day the mention of God’s good will is enough to truly irrate you. We just want to be validated in our frustration. Job said it best after his friends issued their remedy. He spit out the teaspoon of their elixir and exclaimed, “Have pity on me, have pity on me, O you my friends for the hand of God has touched me! Why do you like God pursue me, never satisfied with my flesh?” 19:21 & 22. It’s difficult to even type this as I am still frustrated and yes even angry with God for allowing their son to die. Oddly enough my anger stems from the love, knowledge and trust that I have in my Savior. It’s a conumdrum wrapping in an enigma served with a puzzle on the side. This is a new side of the Lord that I have to adjust to. I will say this; I was comforted at the funeral not by songs of praise that were sung (as they should be, I guess) and not seeing the throngs of people that share in this loss (which was great to see) and not even by the words of hope read from scripture (which I’m sure will minister to me in due time). Rather, calm came in the words of my pastor who simply said, “This is not right that a father a mother should have to bury an only son. It is unnatural. So if you are weak, hurt, confused and angry know that God can handle it for He is still a loving God.” Maybe that’s we should say to Job from the jump so that he doesn’t feel so insane and alone.

We're Just Warming Up

We’re Just Warming Up

There is this captivating moment just before a symphony begins where we wait with baited breath and intrigue. Murmurs and coughs settle in your ear and the wait is tangible. The silence is full like someone blowing up a balloon almost too full before it bursts. The audience palpable is comprised of people who have perused the program to the point of empty memorization. No one really knows what those Italian and German songs are. In all honesty most of the audience can only hold an intelligible conversation on the top Olympic Dream Team composers…you know them already..”Bach, Beethoven and Mozart ok and maybe Chopin…At best we are wannabe-connoisseurs of musical wine-tasting. We swirl the glass, sniff and examine the legs but we have no idea what rare libation we are drinking. But we read with intensity and hopeful recognition that we may be fully engaged with this temporary community. We hope that everyone with take the experience seriously. No one would dare take part and talk or laugh at an inappropriate time. This is just as much to feed the Mozart within us as it is to share love and be immersed in something pure and existential with a stranger. Music is a soothing dose of perfection. It is science, emotion, creativity, creation, physics, community, mathematics and language in a beautiful dance. It is a drip of what heaven stamped eternity must feel like. So, that moment before such an experience is hope-fully exhilarating. The imbecile and the guru both become servants of the inexplicable. The complexity of music teases all of our senses. If you aren’t fully consumed by it then your soul cannot be freed to sing. As we stand on the music precipice of melody that moment before the dive is quietly wondrous and necessary. It whets the appetite…but the warm-up can be confusing. Instruments and notes alike bicker in a cacophony of fine tuning. Violins, then saxophones, the obo wants in on the action and won’t wait its turn…even the gentle triangle rings out of time…every part is being perfected to play its role in this great symphony but what a battering it does to the ears. The audience knows, however, that the tune will change…Oh, they’ve read the program and even in their rudimentary understanding music they know that this is not the song…not yet. Just…wait for it. In fact this modge-podge of senseless reverberation is a part of the entire experience because the coming together is nothing short of a miracle. Shhhhh….here he comes…the conductor. When he steps to the platform we fear not for he will tame this noise and bring….harmony yes…sweet harmony. Before it sounds you know it’s there in the fullness of the wait. Can you see it? Look close. Harmony appears at the tip of the baton and demands attention…ahhhh yes, there you are. “Tap, tap tap” That valiant stick is raised in the face of wayward echoes and when it comes down the concord flies. You didn’t get dressed up abandoning the comforts of home for no reason. This occasion is worthy of your time. The confusion, the noise…that’s not the headline for this concert…we’re just warming up.

The Return

I was supposed to be blogging to journal and spread the love. Something happened to throw a wrench in those plans...life. But whatev. The great thing is no matter whatever beneficial thing you leave behind it is never to late to return to it. Here is a brain tickler of a story. I work at the Methodist home with some of the funniest, brightest, sweetest and hurting(est) teen age girls this city has seen. Frankly, some of their families just suck. I know we aren't supposed to cast blame because hurting people hurt people but these girls have become my "thing that i do" if that makes any sense. I am impassioned about them.

So here's the deal...I have never felt more like Jesus than before I started this job. Not the peaceful, non-discriminatory, WWJD Jesus but that Jesus that seeks out the company of the drunkard, the abuser, the murder, the liar, the sex addict and the demented and who loves on them until it hurts. 40 hours a week these girls are the source of many a days greatest thrill and debilitating exhaustion. Typical day...they come home school greeted by a smile on my face and tell me I am a crappy advocate (sarcasm, unwarranted or needed after a Ngan day nonetheless). They also grunt or make faces when I tell them I'm happy to see them...I get cussed out (F-bombs like WWII) throughout the evening and fear being shanked by some :-P We served them dinner once, made their plates and set the table, the whole 9. We explained how Christ served his disciples and we wanted to do the same...Reaction??? confusion and even frustration with our service. WHAAATTT?! EXCUSE?!!!! I am serving you...gratitude much? Sadness...some of them are not socialized to respond to acts of grace and mercy because they have never been offered to them...They don't say thank you because goodness has often come with a price, if at all.

Want my job? A surface analysis paints a thankless picture. When I work I have to make a minute by minute decision to ignore my instincts to shake them and verbally go "tet a tet" with them and love on these chicks until it hurts...and it does sometimes...most of the time. I turn my cheek until I stand dizzy. I also remember that I am no better. I serve a God who pours his heart on me even when I respond to Him through my hurt. No "thank you" or loving glances in his direction...yeah, I do that. It is love that changes. It is love that heals. It also clenches the jaw, gives without thanks and extinguishes the snap back. It takes time and determination and intention. I decide to love.

Molo Mr. Num Yummy!

Did I mention how well we ate in Cape Town? No barefoot missionaries here with hollow stomachs echoing hunger. A scant blog grants no honor to the indulgent nature of our daily repasts. Take a moment...imagine being serenaded by a choir of angels chanting heavenly arias as you behold the manna of South Africa...

The Spread

Stuffed Crust Pepperoni Pizza from Panorotti's in the mall...I CANNOT explain how gooood this was!

Appetizers from Moyo's

The best chips in the world! I forgot to buy the season salt they used...DANGIT!

Malva Pudding...give me a moment

Leg of Lamb from Poplars...I don't really like Lamb but it's still noteworthy

Hake...like the catfish of S.A. but much cleaner.

In addition with jet lag, spiritual lag and missing the people, the food ooooh the food was so hard to leave...nothing here tastes the same.

Sari I'm not NDN

I went shopping last weekend with my dear friend and partner in crime Angie. She's abandoning me for matrimonial bliss on July 25th and for some reason I thought it was next summer. I was trying to delay this for another year. When I realized that it was July 2009 I broke down in tears and Angie told me to stop because I embarassing her :-) Her fiance is simply a God-send. I can't begin to tell you what an answer to prayer he and his family is to her...Here's a tidbit...getting his PhD in Theology in December & graduating from medical school this summer. Yeah, the Lord did His thing big time! Here are our adventures in wedding shopping and fellowshipping. I love this girl!

We always have 2 take a myriad of these poses because I am horrible at centering.

At church the NDN's call me "black woman" in malayam but they don't know que yo comprende.

This so much more interesting than buying a boring white wedding dress.

How beautiful! Sari for Aunty!



Yeah so I've pretty much decided a wedding sari is the way to go. I hope my family doesn't mind.

Holy Foot Fetish

I'm not particulary fond of feet. I think God put them at the lowest point of our bodies for good reason. However, these feet are beautiful & noteworthy. These are the feet of the men and women that I served with in CapeTown and I adore these feet for they tirelessly carried the gospel of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

I traversed the Book of Kings chapter 19 and sat with the prophet Elijah as he told me his story. There were several things that came to light in my study that I hadn't noticed before. One was when he was running from Jezebel for his life he ran from Mt. Carmel to Mt. Sinai wanting to just die. He was emotionally and spiritually spent. This wasn't a lap around the neighborhood folks. We're talking over 300 miles. He meet the Lord on the same Mt. Sinai that his ancestor Moses did and the Lord comforted and reassured him. Then the Lord said go back the way you came...(I don't know whether to insert a tehee or a tear here). Elijah went though. This was a serious walk in the wilderness...not a darn thing figurative about it. Carrying the Gospel boldly is not always supported with pomp and circumstance. It can be long, lonely and upsetting. But oh how beautiful are those feet that not only carry the gospel but carry us to meet with the Lord.

mOLwEnI

It's been a minute since my last entry...sounds like I've been institutionalized or out at sea or in prison...Anyways, my mental state has been a bit static (in the fuzzy t.v. screen kind of way) so blogging was more of a burden that a cathartic release (just one more thing to do) but...I'm back

Moloweni S.A.
Oh my goodness I am not over South Africa yet. Not that I intended to "get over it" but I was hoping that I would not miss it as much as I do DAiLY! I truly feel like I miss home. Here are mas fotos from the Orphanges that we served at. One was in GuGuLetu and the other at the Rainbow House. I think about these kids all the time. Here's the thing some of them are HIV positive and there are so many of them & no help that they can't all be played with. They go some days without loving, playful touches. I tried to tickle one and he looked completed starlted as if I punched him. He was almost 2. Then he stuck his belly out so I would do it again. He couldn't tell what this sensation was or if he like it. It made me chuckle and made me so sad at the same time. Trying to post video soon. Pictures just don't do the experience justice. We all deeply love and miss them.

At Barcelona (I'll show Rainbow House pics later) the Pastor founded this church under serious duress. His first services were held outside in the dark in front of his car lights under the open threat of murder by the men of Gugulethu...And we have the nerve to complain we God "interupts us with His will. Lord forgive us.

Mama counting with her angel.

"Normal" is not universal

This angel was not used to being held. She was found in her "home" eating off of the floor (i think next to her dead mother). When they would feed her at the orphanage she would dump the food on the floor and then eat it.

So cute...all the girls carried there babydolls like this. Gotta love culture differences, no strollers

Mama & Aunty preparing lunch in the kitchen

Outside of Barcelona orphange, playground area

My God...that face!

Doing laundry...she didn't want me to help...I probably would have slowed her down :-P

Barcelona family!

So Hard to say goodbye.

Mike (in the car) held this little one the entire time we were there...quite a while. When we left he just stood at the car and looked at Mike like..."you are coming back right?" I can't articulate what that departure felt like. We were so nervous about going and broken before we left.

There's more to the story but I'll blog about it later.

Sweeping Crux: after all the planning and theorizing here's the deal. Christ is love and we are to love. You don't have to be a seminary trained theologian to love. I witnessed the stream of love cross between cultures through touch, talk and time. Touch someone, talk to them and invest your time. I promise they will meet Christ.

My Cup

There is this great statue on my campus in front of Truett that pretty much sums up my conversations with God these days. It is Jesus in what I presume to be the Garden of Gethsemane. In the Bible Jesus goes here to pray before his capture and crucifixion and He has this amazingly honest and humanly relatable convo with God the Father. "Going a little farther, he fell with his face to the ground and prayed, 'My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will.'" (Matthew 26:39) See, Jesus isn't just saying this in passing or as a sideline thought. He is agonizing over ALL that is about to happen to him...Nevertheless He chooses God's will. Crucifixion is certainly not my cup, thank God that's been taken care of already...but this is definitely a season of seriously having to trust the Lord in a very real way...so here is the statue

I love the way His hands are just laid at His side and the priceless look on His face. It's like He's saying "Soooo, this is my cup dad? (sigh) well, okay, I trust you"

I soooo feel this! Awesome thing is His eyes are fixed on His Father

"Faith is the gaze of the soul on a saving God."~A.W. Tozer

This is me...

Okay, my first day of classes is complete and officially added on to that wonderfully indelible list of "firsts" I spoke to my last professor de jour Dr. Amy Jacober who is this tiny red-headed box of skittles...just soooo fun and eccentric like a good youth ministry worker should be. Anyways, she is the key professor for my concentration for Youth & Student Ministry...my degree is technically MDiv YSM. Like any of you care :)...The class I am taking her for as of now is Theology and Philosophy of Youth ministry. Typical first week for any level of schooling...review the syllabus and manage the formalities. I sat in this last class, the first of many to infuse and shape my own philosophy of Youth Ministry, and I half listen and half internally hyperventilate. I realized for the first time; I mean truly pondered this crucial fact...This is who I am and this is what I do. Seriously, that thought recycled thru my head a million times in 1 hour...I mean, no more biology, micro, organic chemistry, hair loss over the MCAT, dread of residency but a brand new laundry list. I cannot articulate how in God's will and out of the fish bowl I feel. This roller coaster of emotional duality is a bit too loopy and I think I need a brown paper bag.

Be still & know

I often refer to God...Jesus...what have you...as logic's rubix cube and the more I do the more He is just that. it makes no sense to quit a job a month before you go to grad school with virtually no savings and sign a lease for an apartment that you have yet to see. I certainly wouldn't advise it. However, these are the stops on this thrilling faith-walk-o-mine. Let me tell you I have been through it this week, THAAARUUUU IT! I have felt the exhilaration of independence and gasp of loneliness all at the same time. I know that God will Provide and there is NO LaCk but I can't help but think about the many bills that are due on the first and not little bills but behemoth ones. So what's a chick to do??? Go to that Word, that's what. Not as easy as you think. Sometimes, as much as I love and trust the Lord and I DO, I don't feel like chatting with him especially when I stand in need and I can't see the resources around me. How conditional we can be at times when he is Siempre Fidelis....siempre!

Early Friday morning I paid my car note and began to hyperventilate. I open my Word to Isaiah desperately looking for a familiar Word and here is what the Lord gave me. He is so awesome!

"Cease striving and know that I am God"~Psalm 46:10

...then He led me to ...

"Remember this, and be assured;
Recall it to mind, you transgressors.
9"Remember the former things long past,
For I am God, and there is no other;
I am God, and there is no one like Me,
10Declaring the end from the beginning,
And from ancient times things which have not been done,
Saying, 'My purpose will be established,
And I will accomplish all My good pleasure';
11Calling a bird of prey from the east,
The man of My purpose from a far country
Truly I have spoken; truly I will bring it to pass.
I have planned it, surely I will do it." ~Isaiah 46 8:-11

Verse 11 was written for me! I just broke down and cried... I mean snot and blinding tears, the works. This is God's plan, not mine and He has called me so He won't fail me. That simple. Still have moments of anxiety...wishing I didn't but I know God will provide. He has to for He cannot lie.
Be Encouraged...Be Still

Oh the places we'll go! Cont'd...

Along with open-air evangelism our group was also involved in community outreach which was challenging at best but so fun and so worth every ounce of time we spent helping the youngest to the oldest.
The D.R.C. or Democractic Republic of the Congo refugees live in various parts of South Africa and come near and far to Bellville Baptist Church to learn English so that they can thrive in their new country...Problem...Xenophobia: /ˌzɛnəˈfoʊbiə, ˌzinə/an unreasonable fear or hatred of foreigners or strangers or of that which is foreign or strange. Black South Africans who are already jobless and destitute fear this reality will quickly beome their endless fate if refugees come and get their jobs so they retaliate. One way that we were informed of was dragging the refugees out of their homes in their camps and beating them, filling a tire with gasoline and lighting it on fire around their necks....nonetheless these people exhibit great courage and FAITH (for-real FAITH). Most of the refugees (French speaking) are learned and lawyers, scientists, engineers and the like by trade and we sat with them teaching basic English reading, writing and math skills...talk about humbling. We spent only a few hours with them and wanted desparately to stay. 2 of the STINT (year-long) missionaries from IMPACT head this project for over 30 refugees who are all on different learning levels. That day their were 15 of us and still not enough. It's frustrating to even reflect on...

Esther..she was a lawyer back at home

blOg hOdge pOdge

Mo~I am moving to Waco, TX this week to begin my Master's Studies in Divinity at George W. Truett Theological Seminary at Baylor University...yes, I know I am pretty awesome!~actually God's completely awesome! I have looked at some of my class schedules and this program is nothing to take lightly...can we say "reading is fundamental" cuz it is. Oh my sweet Jesus help me!

Murphy~there's this guy named Murphy and he lives by these impossible statues. Thursday was supposed to be a day of completion for my week. I took my car in to get freon and alignment and came out with a list of repairs for over $1,000 which clearly won't get fixed anytime soon. Can we say tuition & rent & insurance & books & travel??? Then when I tried to leave the auto shop my battery had died...Now, this is fine except for the fact that whenever I leave the auto shop for the past 4 times...for something minor like an oil change...something very expensive goes wrong...coincidence? I lost out on getting a free king-size bed...bummer. I owe alot more than my bank acct will allow me to pay...what's new? Good thing I dwell in God's graces and not Murphy's law.

Mi Madre~mom's inagural event for her Oasis of Prayer Ministry was held Saturday night at UofH and it was incredible...so much work went into this especially during the last days and God still blew everyone's mind with all that He showed us about His presence. I am so proud of my mom and this family.

My Kiddos~I gave my last message at TCWW before I leave (tears & tissue). It was at 9:45 service which is "the"service, you can't mess around when you bring the Word to this crew, and I was terrified and feeling so unprepared. This past week was so trying and I felt so anxious I "fell" this week and therefore felt so unworthy to preach to these youth. I presented them John 3:16 "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only son that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have life everlasting." I wanted them to know the realities of hell that they have been "saved" from and the vast love that Jesus has for them though we all sin all day all life. So when someone asks the million dollar "Christian Question" ~ "Are you saved?" They can bodly shout "OH YES!!!" One young man gave his life to the Lord!

For all the week's frustrations and hiccups that makes it worth it...yeah...definitely worth it.

Call me Crocker cuz I'm spreadin the Word like Butter baby!

Hop in your car in Houston and the further you get away from the city the "nicer" the neighborhoods become...a little less crayola if ya know what I mean. Hop in your car in Cape Town and view the grimiest townships "ghetto" you ever did see; quickly shift your gaze from the left side of the road to the right and you'll see some of the most beautiful habitats ever. Yessir, built right their where blacks used to live in their villages. Their land and identity just snatched from their grip without warning, reason or apology.

Khayelitsha~2nd largest township in S.A.

"Ghetto Hair Salon"

Bible Store

Profylin & Evangelizin'

We spent 3 hrs. conducting "open-air" evangelism. One guy I spoke with said he was Christian but he was also raised as a traditional healer. That was one hinderance...many South Africans consider themselves Christian but still adhere to many ancestral beliefs systems that do not fall in line with God's Word. They also speak very softly as opposed to Americans particularly black Americans. We had to shut-tp and really listen instead of "listening" for an opportunity to force an agenda. Mid way thru our day we were prohibited from further "solicitation" of Jesus...there were wayz around that though.

Don't 4get to look Both Wayz

So I am posting this just because it made me laugh today...Today I went with my family to the launching of Rev. Jacquie Hood-Martin's preaching tour "No Fear" downtown Houston at the Magnolia Ballroom (fantastic venue BTW). It was at 10 this morning. As we stood on the empty street about to go inside a homeless approached my mom and I asking for breakfast money. I instinctively lied and he apologized for "bothering" us and went about his way. I felt like crap. I not only had $7 in my "Coach" bag (insert oooo's & ahhhhh's here) but HELLO! I just got back from a mission trip where I we minstered to the low and dejected for 10 days. I value being non-materialistic and self-sacrificing and there I stand with this ridiculous expensive "bag" and the opportunity to minister and help and I lie...How quickly do we revert back to our old ways?!?

So I start meditating on the scripture that says "They also will answer, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?' He will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.' " Matthew 25:44. I asked God for forgiveness and another opportunity...and also that he would bless that man I rejected with food and shelter.

Well, I went outside to go to the car after the event began privately pleading with God for someone to pass by me that I could bless...I met Carnal Washington who asked for payment if he washed my car. I told him "no" but I would like to treat him to breakfast..."Yes! Thank you Lord!" We chatted about life and God and parted ways.

Please don't misunderstand, I wasn't diggin for a "feel good" moment so I can ring my bell and blow my own whistle. I love Christ and He has been so good to me and I don't want to squander this life by missing an opportunity to glorify Him by loving on someone like he loves on me...

So here's what made me laugh. When I went back out to the car my dad says "Be careful and look out while you are crossing the street" I began to reply, "I just got back from South Africa I can handle downtown." Yet, I digressed and said "O.K. dad". So glad he's looking out for me too.

Nkosi Sikelel iAfrika

Sunday, August 4, 2008 13 enlightened missionaries made their treks back to their respective homes across these United States. As much as I wanted to once again enjoy the "comforts" of home so much of me wanted to stay in Cape Town. Shame. So where in the world do I begin???

There were 15 of us from IMPACT Association~we's folks work for a living & could only get 2 weeks off to go on a mission tip

There were 6 gracious leaders from IMPACT STINT who have dedciated a year to ministry in South Africa.

There were many from the IMPACT movement on U.S. college campuses that dedicated a month of their undergraduate summer to minister in South Africa.

These people are the most incredible people that I have met this summer. They are so honest, so bare, so willing to share Christ's love.

the faces...

Words render no justice to the beauty and warmth of Cape Town

and the people of South Africa.

Listen to the South African National Anthem which we heard a billion times over 2 weeks...absolutley beautiful!

Here Am I

"I will rescue you from your own people and from the Gentiles. I am sending you to them to open their eyes and turn them from darkness to light, and from the power of Satan to God, so that they may receive forgiveness of sins and a place among those who are sanctified by faith in me.' " Acts 26:17-18

Clothes? check Credit Card? check Passport? check...Passport? check...Passport? check
7:03 Tuesday evening and I have yet to finish packing because I just started yesterday. Yeah, my bad. I'M GOING TO AAAAFFFFRRRRRIIIIICCCAAAAAAAA! Cape Town, SA or bust baby!

Here's the deal about my Awesome Saviour King whom I serve whole-heartedly and with great enthusiasm...He's so incrediblely wonderful that an eternity of blogging couldn't contain His wonder and goodness. He's GOD. He is the undeniable ultimate grace gift to a dying world and He seeks to serve His servants. He is the rubix cube of logic and reason and I stand in awe of Him!

Back to CapeTown. I'm going to serve the Lord in evangelism for 2 weeks. I leave tommorrow. Romans 8 describes a generation groaning for hope & guess what? We have hope in Jesus Christ God's resurrected Son who died that viscious grip of sin is destroyed. The best illustration of sin that I have seen is in Spiderman 3 with that Black-Goo -Virus (technical name???) from outer space and the more you feed it the more it takes over and consumes you unto your ultimate demise...total submission to it's desire for evil and your death. Christ is so worth sharing and I grow in boldness each time I say "yes". I wish it was easier for me to say yes because it was for Him. It wasn't just death it was humiliation, toture, betrayal...have you people seen "Passion of the Christ" We will never know a greater love than the love the Lord washes over us each day. I could go on but like I said I can't So here's a little diddy for your audible entertainment. You don't have to go to Africa...or for some you don't even have to leave the house but wherever and however for Christ's sake...telll someone that Jesus is Lord and He is good and He takes us however we come. Come with doubt, come with anger, come imperfect, come with questions, just come.

The Return of El Gato Rojo

July 18th...last day at BCM...last day at SLEH...last day of true euphoria from working with some great people...Mo, not a happy camper. Cure for the common frown??? El Gato Roho with the finest kittens and the coolest cat in town.

(Yes, 610...you do look the fool with your tongue out, how 'bout a little class, eh?)

And now how's the little missionary feelin?

OOOOOOOHH TAY!

Thanks for coming out mis amigos. I can't tell you how much I love you. We'll have to plan the sequel for when I get back.